Letter to Eddie Mbagua

Deox de Man

Dear Eddie Mbagua,

Allow me to begin by saying that your shelving of Nancy Kalemba from Biodun Shobanjo's missiles was not the most selfless move after the death of Jesus Christ for mankind. It should go down in history as the stupidest move ever pulled by anyone.

You really disappointed Mr. Shobanjo. I saw the hurt in his eyes as he praised your salesmanship and leadership abilities before he pointed his revolver at you and fired, and I knew he'll never forgive you.

The famous tagline --"You pay for what you use" -- was brilliant, and should have won your team praise from the Celtel executives had you made that the main thread of the Route-to-Market presentation. But you let Nancy [who has found a niche messing things up] handle the important financial projection, thus overshot it by 1,000% and cost the team dearly.

For that, she deserved to be 'shot' a dozen times but you used your prerogative as Matrix Corporation project manager to remove her head from the noose because she had become the veteran of the boardroom? It's true she had but only because of her devastating performances. Should a 'criminal' then get off like that?

Looking back, your austereness and electric approach to things was always great to behold. You were Kenya's last soul surviving and the third East African but you chose to deny us when we still needed you. In fact, you were my number one dangerous substitute in case intrigue and politics in the house brought down Deox Tibeingana.

By sealing your own tragic fate, you confirmed what your 'predecessor' Oscar Kamukama told James Amuta his post-eviction interview –that Matrix Corporation is 100% jinxed. It showed in the way you cried after hearing the dreaded "You are fired." A man does not cry like that. Besides, you left Shobanjo no option but to fire you. What did you want him to do? By the way, did you cry because you were going to miss Regina or you wept after a late realization that you shouldn't have sacrificed yourself for a poor performer like Nancy?

Dude, your guts to "thank" your boss after firing you were out of this world. Hopefully the woman you saved will take an old advice from my primary English teacher, pull up her socks and show the world that it was not in vain that you rescued her.

Otherwise, big ups to Zulu Corporation's winning ways and more so to Deox for remaining the team's Midas touch. When the self-assured Eunice was asked by a Celtel executive how they should move the Red Phone faster among the public, the beauty lost her self-assuredness and mumbled incoherently until Deox saved her from further humiliation.

With a -don't-worry attitude, Deox talked of Celtel's transparency, that all that was needed was to convince the public; make them see the great qualities such as the precise billing the great Red Phone had over other payphones from their competitors. The official smiled satisfactorily and told Shobanjo how Deox had been impressive in the "Questions and Answers following the presentation…"

Shobanjo has consistently said he's looking for the best manager, someone with passion and insight, a delivery man, a leader, a fast thinker, a strategist, an individual that knows something on everything. Mix his real life ventures with the extraordinary way he has continually helped Zulu Corporation lift the coveted 'trophy' from Matrix Corporation and that man is none other than Deox.

If you think otherwise, stand up and let's hear what you think.

Oscar Betrayed, Deox Rocks On

Last week was a black week for Uganda as our son Oscar Kamukama became a sacrificial lamb at The Apprentice Africa.

I knew something fishy has been going on when the C.E.O closed his other eye to Eddie's confession that he priced the art pieces cheaply thereby making Matrix Corporation lose to Zulu on the financial front. Shobanjo allowed Regina to bring Oscar to the boardroom without questioning. Had he been as fair as Portia of Shakespeare, he would have fired Eddie for incompetence the moment he confessed.

Besides, he should not let steamy romance spoil things. It's no longer a rumour; Regina and Eddie have something going between them, otherwise it should have been Eddie and someone else in that boardroom. Oscar and Nancy had four paintings each, two more than their counterparts in the team. Oscar wooed all the guys who bought the pieces and his painting of a voluptuous woman was the highlight and sold well. We must not forget his previous magnetic performances –like when he sold ropes in the Street Hustle task and got a tip, and his concept of shoes for the Bank PHB newspaper insert that helped his team to excel when he was project manager. How could he then be in the boardroom on Sunday?

I've been the number one fan of Mr. Shabanjo but if he continues to foment this unfairness he'll lose me. First it was Omar and now Oscar? Although I know such glitches are left to pass to heighten drama and tension, after all controversy always sells, it hurts when it's overtly done.

Thanks for allowing me to vent.

And now, kudos once again to our boy Deox Tibeingana. His determination as project manager to steer his team to victory as the only sure way of avoiding the ever raised glistening axe of Shobanjo must be applauded. We must remember this is his second victory as project manager –no mean achievement by any standards considering many project managers have been fired.

Besides, Deox has come to be that only man at the show that says something and means [implements] it. He said "of all the tasks we've had this is the most difficult" but was glad it would bring out the best in him and his team. It's this inspired brilliance that has turned him into a golden boy –the kind that Shobanjo is looking for, the one who leads by example, the one who dares, that one who dreams, achieves and actualizes.

Then he compellingly narrated that story of needy school boys headed by one Victor he met at the gallery. That he asked Shobanjo that part of the proceeds from the paintings be used to meet the scholastic needs of the boys to put a smile on the little faces, tells of that big heart dwelling in his broad chest. My sister, who was watching the show with me, was overwhelmed by his kindness and shed a tear. We now know that if he lands the fat-salaried job that The Apprentice Africa will offer the last man/woman standing, he'll use most of his earnings to help the underprivileged.

Friend, it does not hurt to identify with a man with a heart of gold. As I've often said, and as surely as heaven rhymes with haven, if Deox is not betrayed by the ugly politics already brewing in that house he'll be the next African Apprentice.

Why Diox Will Win [Part II]

So the Kenyan beauty, Joyce Mbaya had herself fired this week? That's why I don't harbour tender feelings for worms that allow the waves to swallow them without putting up a fight.

Otherwise, I'm here, by way of analysis, to present to you the second and last part –why I think Deox Tibeingana will be crowned the 2008 African Apprentice.

Deox never forgets his winning mentality. In his first role as Zulu Corporation task manager, Shobanjo asked him how his team had performed, and was assured they would win by a 64% margin; something that was confirmed minutes later. This quality has made the doting father of two an outstanding achiever at a tender age of 30.

Deox doesn't call a spade a big spoon. He voiced his disappointment with the leadership of our brother Oscar in the sixth business task but rescued him with enterprising ideas. Even Kathleen noticed that "Oscar has not been able to make a central decision and stick by it without assertion from Deox." But the Zulu Corporation won and our boys survived.

You may raise your hand if you have a different view but Deox has been the fulcrum of Zulu Corporation from day one. The likes of Nnamdi are cocky but when Deox opens his mouth, he pulls the attention because his ideas are always great. It's for this that he has never faced the 'army court martial' presided over by Shobanjo since the show began.

In fact, evening whispers reveal he impressed the judges the most during auditions. Whereas Nancy's "average ideas" have miffed Blessing, Deox continues to wow his 'friends'. One of his philosophical ideologies goes: "A fit body is the domain of a sound mind" and at the show he's been striving to remain physically and mentality fit which explains his stellar performance.

Deox is a game reader and team player and comes with the shrewdness of a street lawyer. He has traveled widely and not even Shobanjo can intimidate him with his curtness. Pundits have defined him as quiet but with "some sort of very powerful personality about him" while his fellow competitor Eddie called him "a pillar of stability that can hold a team together."

It's a mark of integrity to give credit where it's due. When Kathleen joined Zulu Corporation, Deox was visibly disappointed because "We've always known Kathleen even before she came to Zulu as a b****" but when she excelled by steering the team to victory, Deox retracted his statement and embraced her. It's this sincere integrity that fellow contestants and viewers have come to immensely admire about him.

Did you know that he began taking lessons in Pidgin English from his chaperon as soon as he landed in Lagos for the show? It helped him to quickly adapt to the new environment and to feel at home and communicate well and get along very well with fellow contestants.

The likes of Tunde are openly opportunistic and loud-mouthed like the dogs that bay but don't bite. But if The Apprentice Africa was a fable, Deox would be clever little Mr. Hare with the doctor's white coat, a protruding tail and goggles to complete the package.

Call him crafty if you want, but for Deox, there is a time to bark and a time to lurk. For him it ain't over till it's over! He wants the money but more than that he will enter records for inspiring young Ugandans to hit the world stage and play with the big boys without fear, as he's doing.

Six contestants have so far been fired and emotional pressure is high but Deox calmly observed that the "spirit is very low… people are busy collaborating and conspiring, thinking of whom to take to the boardroom" meaning that he has dissected the situation. He was conspicuously missing in the boardroom on Sunday and Shobanjo said he was sick. But I think Deox used his time to think, so watch out.

It's no longer a secret that the man of all seasons will be the last one holding on after the swinging pendulum has thrown off the rest down the cliff. Then he will be handed the keys of the Mercedes, a job with an annual salary of US$200,000 and Uganda will feel proud than ever! If you have a different view, you have the privilege of having the matter settled in the courts of law. But until next time, God richly bless you!

Why Deox Will Win [In Two Parts]

Part I

When I first wrote on this blog that Deox will be the Apprentice Africa champ, a friend who's following the show keenly asked how can I be sure. I told him I was going to analyze the life and times of Deox so far to determine if indeed he has a winning personality.

Deox, according to his website, was born in Rukungiri, a small district in south western Uganda, 30 years ago, to humble parents. So humble in fact that at the age of five, he was already slashing people's compounds for money with which to buy scholastic materials.

He finished his primary school with flying colours and joined Kisubi Minor Seminary from where he seriously thought of becoming a priest. Luckily he didn't otherwise we wouldn't be enjoying watching him on The Apprentice Africa.

His was an academic rollercoaster that saw him admitted to St Mary's College Kisubi for his Advanced Level studies. He took to French heartily and shortly after A-Level won a scholarship to study the language at the Universite de Poitiers.

Upon his return, Deox joined Makerere University on government scholarship to study Law. But the spirit of entrepreneurship made him restless and he started supplying pineapples to university canteens and shops in neighbouring Wandegeya. Deox used his profits to open a tour travel firm where he flew students on trips South Africa.

Later, after university, Deox flew to the U.S where he did several stints: data entry specialist, call center specialist and cashier and teller at the successful Stop & Shop super market chain.

He even took to modelling. Had the love of mother Africa not impelled him to return home, Deox would perhaps be big in Hollywood today!

Back home, he joined UTL as a call centre supervisor and was swiftly promoted to Online Customer Care Manager.

But his adventurous hormones drove him to UK where he worked in a butchery, and later as a truck driver and delivery man. With his savings he set up Lincom Staffing, a sales company and some of his clients included One2net.

He also opened a call-box company, opening the way for several others to sprout across the city.
It was time for Deox to return to his noble profession. He set up his own law firm in 2007, partnered with some of the brightest lawyers in what is today known as Tibeingana & Co. Advocates.

Alongside law, he became a property developer, a real estate agent and construction worker. Was hired by UMEME, Uganda's only electricity distributor company to handle the technical aspects of customer care.

As a lawyer, Deox visited prisons to give free advice to prisoners on how to arrange for bail.

He also empowered his people with the knowledge of their rights and constructed three boreholes with his money.

He may be young in lamb but he has verily done it all, and successfully so. He's handsome, inventive, considerate, magnanimous, thorough, vigorous, erudite, ambitious, adorable, resolute, alert, experienced, steadfast, audacious yet modest, versatile, independent and charismatic.

In the final part, I'll examine his stellar performance at the show and why it will win him the crown.

'AK 47' Fired!!

Blame WBS, dear lover of TAA, I've had to rely on the official website to let you in on what transpired in the fifth episode.

As shattering as it may come, the unbwogable Akatu, became the second Nigerian and fourth West African to get booted.

Although I'll miss the man who used to joke that sharks feared him out of professional courtesy, his going also left me with a sigh of relief because he was a clever one that one and I was afraid he might beat our Deox to the money.

As it is, the task that earned him the sack was about crafting a mission statement and a 30-second television commercial for Sahara Group, a huge oil company in Lagos.

In a surprising move, Shobanjo asked Matrix Corp to choose someone from Zulu Corp to join their team and Isaac became ladies man. I mean it's not everyday that such modern sophisticated beauties show confidence in son of a gun!

Soon, the teams had deployed their brain power, for this task called for fast and original thinking.
In one camp, Eddie used his theatrical experience to direct the TVC and in the other Isaac was busy hatching a winning formulae for the ladies who had appointed him 'associate' producer of their commercial.

As Matrix Corp hired a storyboard illustrator to add a graphical Midas touch to their ideas, the punctilious Deox was irritated that Akatu was behaving like a zombie instead of contributing ideas to help the team.

The old saying you reap what you sow was much into play when it came to shooting for the commercial because both teams sowed excellence by hiring professional film crews. The ever ebullient Nnamdi compared Eddie's film exploits to Spielberg's.

The end of the task was the beginning of the presentation by the contestants to the Sahara executives who then assessed the teams and pronounced Matrix Corporation task winner.
Victory was rewarded with a sumptuous dinner at Lagoon Restaurant and a bike-riding do with the Sahara Bikers Club.

Back in the boardroom, an angry Shobanjo probed Tunde, "What went wrong?" The project manager then went on about how they had put in their best, but if your best can't guarantee you victory, isn't it better calling it your worst? Shobanjo seemed aware because he reminded Tunde he judges not input but results.

When the other guys had gone and left behind Akatu, Eddie and Tunde, "AK47" as Akatu is known among contestants, cocked his gun and pointblank gunned down Tunde's defective leadership because "…he was not open to criticism" and "sacrificed our victory on the altar of his ego."

But Eddie jumped to Tunde's defense accusing the 'gun' of only shooting his mouth off only when they were in the boardroom, and even advised Shobanjo to fire him.

I don't like that Tunde and Eddie have become conspirators and will crush anyone that stands in their way just like they crushed Anthony. But then again, this is a war and if pairing up will help them survive so be it.

So the showy litigator was fired for not cooperating but who will go next?